Protect yourself against family violence
Family violence can be a precursor to divorce proceedings says Lawyer-mediator RAJAN CHETTIAR, who advises how to seek protection before the situation gets out of hand.
The breakdown of a marriage can manifest itself in physical and verbal abuse by one estranged spouse against the other. If you fear for your safety you can consider filing for a Personal Protection Order (PPO) in a Family Court which protects the affected party and their children from a violent spouse. Once filed, the Order is served on the perpetrator – in this case the estranged spouse – and both of you are expected to attend the first court hearing or Mention. During the Mention, Family Court counsellors help you both reach a resolution on the matter. Should a resolution not be met during the counselling session, you’ll both have to go to trial. As an applicant you must prove family violence has been committed or is likely to be committed against you and a PPO is necessary for protection. Family violence can be defined as putting a family member in fear of danger, causing hurt, wrongfully being confined against their will or continuous harassment causing anguish.
So when does verbal abuse or emotional harassment amount to family violence? I once represented a client whose wife accused him of inflicting family violence on her because he sent her about 10 text messages over a few days. The Court decided it wasn’t emotional harassment because their mode of communication was text messaging and occasional quarrels don’t justify the filing of a PPO. More often than not, a PPO application is used as a weapon by one party against the other, such as when faced with child access issues. Ask yourself the following before lodging a PPO application:
• What are the underlying problems? Will a PPO resolve it?
• Can I solve the problem instead of filing for a PPO?
• Was this a one-off incident aggravated by marital conflicts?
• Do I really need protection?
• How will it affect my estranged spouses’ future relationship with me and the children?
• Will filing a PPO aggravate the divorce proceedings?
• What are the underlying problems? Will a PPO resolve it?
• Can I solve the problem instead of filing for a PPO?
• Was this a one-off incident aggravated by marital conflicts?
• Do I really need protection?
• How will it affect my estranged spouses’ future relationship with me and the children?
• Will filing a PPO aggravate the divorce proceedings?
• What’s the cost of a PPO trial in terms of time, money and emotions?
Before applying for a PPO…
Before applying for a PPO…
• Cool down and carefully consider your options.
• Explore other options such as moving out of the matrimonial home or not communicating with your estranged spouse.
• Seek counselling or private mediation. Although in Singapore’s Family Court, mediation services aren’t available for a PPO application.
Rajan Chettiar
Commissioner For Oaths, Mediator LLB (Honours), Barrister-at-law (Middle Temple), UK
