Mediation: your step-by-step guide
Lawyer-mediator RAJAN CHETTIAR outlines the mediation process step-by-step.
Before
• Have sufficient rest.
• Prepare a list of the issues you want to raise during the session.
• Have copies of documents you need to refer to during the session.
• Consider the solutions you’re willing to accept and reject, and list your reasons for doing so.
During
• Attend with an open mind.
• Set aside your emotions and past events. Be calm and concentrate on resolving the issues with the objective of moving forward.
• Be polite and civil to your ex-spouse, maintaining eye contact and cordial body language.
• Use neutral language.
• Make note of the issues raised by your ex-spouse and the mediator.
• Listen to what your ex-spouse has to say without any interruption. You will get a turn to have your say.
• Consider what the mediator has to say.
• Request a break if you need to compose yourself or think through certain issues.
• Be ready to compromise. Mediation is not about getting what you want.
• Request for time to consider the issues discussed and consider returning for another session.
• Mediation is a process, so it may take more than one session to reach a conclusion.
• Either party can end the session at any point for any reason by informing the mediator.
After
• Consider your options carefully and thoroughly – seek legal advice to help you decide.
• To understand your perceptions of the session, remind yourself of your objectives for adopting mediation.
It’s not compulsory to have a lawyer present during the mediation session but if you need advice and your solicitor is unable to attend, you can consult with him or her via telephone during the session. By giving your best during mediation to resolve issues amicably you’ll minimise any emotional agony, save on legal costs and be able to move on quickly with your life.
Rajan Chettiar
Commissioner for Oaths, Mediator LLB (Honours), Barrister-at-law (Middle Temple), UK
Commissioner for Oaths, Mediator LLB (Honours), Barrister-at-law (Middle Temple), UK
