Engaging a lawyer-mediator to negotiate your divorce settlement
Lawyer RAJAN CHETTIAR explains why engaging a lawyer-mediator to conduct your pre-filing mediation sessions is best for you, your ex-spouse and your children.
Before filing for divorce, it’s advisable for you and your ex-spouse to attend a pre-filing mediation session to address your interests and needs, and those of your children. A mediation session conducted by trained lawyers reduces emotional stress and overall cost. And as it aims to assist you in reaching an amicable agreement, it also allows you to maintain a good relationship with your ex. Should mediation fail, your lawyer-mediator is also able to legally advise both of you on the next steps and suggest other options. And because your lawyer-mediator is able to give you insight into “worst case” scenarios and help you consider all legal aspects of your agreement during mediation, future complications are typically minimised.
Before filing for divorce, it’s advisable for you and your ex-spouse to attend a pre-filing mediation session to address your interests and needs, and those of your children. A mediation session conducted by trained lawyers reduces emotional stress and overall cost. And as it aims to assist you in reaching an amicable agreement, it also allows you to maintain a good relationship with your ex. Should mediation fail, your lawyer-mediator is also able to legally advise both of you on the next steps and suggest other options. And because your lawyer-mediator is able to give you insight into “worst case” scenarios and help you consider all legal aspects of your agreement during mediation, future complications are typically minimised.
When you and your ex-spouse attend Court mediation after filing for divorce, acrimony and positions are usually entrenched, tainting the mood of mediation. As a result, both of you might feel you’re better off litigating the matter rather than mediating. Sometimes the options considered during mediation may not sound as attractive to you as possible legal remedies. If you feel pre-filing mediation is not what you’re after, you can always seek the services of a traditional lawyer and settle your divorce through litigation. But by doing so you do risk the possibility of receiving an unfavourable resolution, or incurring further legal costs.
Although popular in other parts of the world, lawyer-mediators are still far and few between in Singapore. Some lawyers are against the idea of becoming mediators. By virtue of their training, lawyers believe they’re best equipped to provide legal solutions through litigation or through drafting of agreements and also feel they might lose out financially if clients chose to mediate instead of litigate.
This mindset can only be changed through education.
This mindset can only be changed through education.
Rajan’s Take
I conduct mediation because…
• Clients reach a win-win situation in a cost-effective and non-adversarial manner.
• Clients with children are able to maintain a cordial relationship, allowing them to continue loving and effective co-parenting.
• Satisfied clients are able to raise well-adjusted and happy children. When children see divorced parents form an amicable relationship, they’re able to enjoy fulfilling and healthy relationships with their parents – and their future spouses and families.
• Satisfied clients are able to raise well-adjusted and happy children. When children see divorced parents form an amicable relationship, they’re able to enjoy fulfilling and healthy relationships with their parents – and their future spouses and families.
Rajan Chettiar
Commissioner for Oaths, Mediator LLB (Honours), Barrister-at-law (Middle Temple), UK
Commissioner for Oaths, Mediator LLB (Honours), Barrister-at-law (Middle Temple), UK
