Lawyer RAJAN CHETTIAR explains what to expect from a mediation session with your estranged spouse.

Once you and your ex-spouse have mutually appointed a mediator and arranged the first session, it’s very likely the mediator will make a request for background information. This will include your personal particulars and details of any issues you currently disagree on. The actual mediation session will then be conducted as follows:
Introduction by mediator You and your ex-spouse will be briefed on the mediation process. You’ll be advised that your sessions are confidential and you’re not bound by the issues raised or any positions taken. You remain free to change your mind and any future proceedings commenced in the Family Court will not be affected by your discussions, or the outcome of the mediation session. 
     Your mediator will also inform you he or she will not assume a judicial position. The mediator’s role is merely to facilitate and assist you in reaching a settlement beneficial for both parties. While the mediator will not help either of you create solutions to your issues, he or she will evaluate the options available so you can explore further alternative solutions. Your mediator will also remind you he or she is neutral to the process and has no personal or vested interest in the outcome.
Introduction by parties This is usually the first opportunity you and your ex-spouse will have to talk in a neutral environment so it’s the perfect time for each of you to share your side of the story. Feel free to express your views and any feelings surrounding your issues, always stating your supporting reasons. Make the most out of this valuable opportunity to understand one another’s views and positions.
Summary of parties’ positions The mediator will verify the accuracy of his or her understanding of both your positions and seek clarification on any doubts. He or she will also devise a mediation agenda, outlining the main issues to be discussed at your next meeting.
Exploration of issues This forms the crux of the session, where the mediator helps you and your ex-spouse delve a little bit deeper into your issues. Options put forth by both sides will be considered and the mediator may assist you in testing the viability of each suggestion. He or she may also recommend alternative solutions and compromises.
     Following your meeting, there will be an opportunity for you and your ex-spouse to have private sessions with the mediator, followed by a joint session – where a suitable conclusion will be mutually decided.