I was raised in a household with two working parents. My mum was PA to the head of the ABC and often earned more than my father, who at that time was a milkman by night and accountant by day. Thanks to dad’s split hours, he was often there for us when we came home from school, but he and my mother didn’t get to see very much of each other for quite a few years. 

Women of my age group and under (I’m 37) have been taught to think we can have it all - career and kids. But can we? I know that right now my career fulfills me beyond measure, gives me great purpose and the thought of every having to give it up fills me with dread. But I also remember how it felt to have my mum miss my school performances, never pick me up from the school gates like other mums and  feed me courtesy of the freezer and microwave. I don’t blame her, she didn’t have any time for me, let alone herself. And I did grow up having nice things, but to be honest I really can’t think of what they were…

Even without children, working women today are still expected to whip up an evening meal out of thin air (or a bare fridge), coordinate holidays and social calendars and find time in there somewhere to exercise and take care of their mental, physical and spiritual health. When getting a pedicure seems like a chore, you know it’s time to slow down and live in the moment!

I recently attended a Leadership Forum hosted by Women Mean Business - a women’s group started by ipac. They host monthly meetings where women can glean information and advice from experts in all manner of fields, to improve their day-to-day life and achieve long-term goals, such as financial independence - something many married women don’t think about, assuming they’ll be married forever, but it doesn’t always work out that way.

At this recent forum two speakers really held my attention. The main thread of their advice was to live in the moment. That whatever we’re doing, to be absolutely present at that time. If we’re at work, focus on the task at hand without any social or personal distractions. When we’re at home, give our undivided attention to our husband or our children and switch off our phones, Blackberries and laptops. By pursuing a task with a sole intention we get lost in it, giving the matter or person undivided attention and quality time. Then we can move on to our next task, knowing we’ve done our very best and minimising any guilt.

Some words of wisdom from the speakers:

Rhodora-Palomar Fresnedi
Former Global Vice President, Head of Diversity, Unilever
Founder and Manaing Director, Except One Pte Ltd

1. You’re the only one judging your own success. Think of what success means to you - not someone else’s standards - and set out to achieve your version of success.
2. There’s no age limit or time limit on success. Many authors and actors only hit the big time in their later years.
3. Timing is everything - and nothing. It’s how you define it.
4. Be authentic. Be good at being YOU. Work out your strengths and what you enjoy doing and focus on that, not an idea of what you wish you could be or could do.
5. Follow your heart. Think about what it is that you really like to do. Do you really like having something, or do you enjoy the buzz of creating it - the process.

Catherine Williams
Chief Financial Officer - Asia, Clearwater Capital Partners
Mum of four - yes four - kids!

1. If you want to pursue a demanding career, live in Asia where you can employ an outstanding helper to manage your home - and you!
2. Manage your expectations. We are our own toughest critic. You are probably doing the very best you can. And if things aren’t working, change them.
3. Is "it" really important? Or do you just think it is.
4. Manage your time efficiently. Use a family calendar or planner and always create "to do" lists.
5. Be present and "there" when you’re with your family.
6. Use your support network. Always be open to asking for, offering, and accepting help. You may not have an extended family in Singapore, but you will have good friends and a wide range of experts who can help you. Home and work are team efforts, not sole enterprises.
7. Stay strong, healthy and fit. Exercise regularly, eat healthily and get regular check-ups - your health is the cornerstone of all you do and can achieve. Without it everything suffers.
8. Communicate with your partner, colleagues, boss if things aren’t working - and praise them if they are.
9. Have a laugh with your girlfriends. Arrange a regular girl’s night out or lunch - you need your friends!
10. Trust in and thank others. Gratitude comes back tenfold and makes everyone - even you - feel appreciated.

What about you, do you have any tips you’d like to share?