Lawyer RAJAN CHETTIAR discusses the importance of both parents agreeing to child custody issues.
 

Fathers without custody or access of their children can request a review of such issues by the Family Court during the ancillary matters stage of divorce proceedings – where interim custody orders are usually made final.
          Depending on the facts and circumstances raised, the divorce Judge may make a new order. Keep in mind, it may be easier for fathers to obtain a split care and control order – provided the mother agrees to it. To obtain such consent you need to:

·         Maintain a harmonious relationship with your ex-spouse.

·         Attempt to reach an amicable settlement in relation to divorce, finance and property matters.

·         Explain to your former wife how your children will benefit with the assurance such an arrangement doesn’t deprive her of her parental rights but reinforces joint parental rights.         

Should you decide on split care and control a smooth transition between both parents’ homes is a must. Arrange for one set of each child’s personal belongings per home. And co-operate with your former spouse to ensure schoolwork is not affected by agreeing on logistics –such as ensuring your child transfers schoolbooks and materials between both homes.

As this tends to be a complicated arrangement, the Family Court does not usually agree to split care and control for school-going children. But if both parents are supportive, administrative hurdles can be overcome. And mothers tend to find split care and control advantageous, as it leaves them with more time to focus on their personal lives. If you’re unable to convince the Court of such an arrangement you may wish to seek care and control on a few weekday evenings and for some of the weekend.

            If the relationship between ex-spouses is acrimonious it can lead to issues with child access. One parent may limit access, while another “blames” the other for turning the child against them. Such issues are best resolved through mediation or counselling.

            Ultimately, it’s in the best interest of your child to have the love, support and bond of both parents. Hurling abuse and quarrelling in your child’s presence is never productive. When it comes to child access issues, it’s imperative you and your ex-spouse cooperate. If you choose not to, your child could suffer long-term, damaging psychological impact.

Rajan Chettiar
Commissioner for Oaths, Mediator LLB (Honours), Barrister-at-law (Middle Temple), UK